Happy Things and Unsightly Screams

My head hurts. It's a tension headache. My last tension headache was on Friday. School induced? Children induced? Life induced? No. Scorpion induced. I have come to the actualization (this is me trying to be more "self-actualized") that I have a scorpion phobia. No shame. I've been sitting at my computer because I spotted a scorpion on the CEILING in my living room whilst Elliott has been out for the night.  Sitting on the couch is too... squishy. Much too easy of a target. I've been sitting in my hard kitchen chair for the last two hours with the harsh overhead lighting blasting in my eyes because any chance of relaxation for the night was just defeated (and now it's a matter of laziness, who are we kidding)? Too lazy to try and enjoy the night. Constant spasms jerking my blankets, pillows, food, away from me (you never know if that's a scorpion touching you)!  Now, I can muster up a textbook/baseball bat/heavy object splat kill (or at least immobilization) if it's on the ground. If it's on the ceiling? Big bombs come out of my mouth. Bigger bombs came out this time because I knew Elliott was gone. I still called him saying "I. Just. Can't." He called our neighbors (who we/he already knows pretty well and of course, I didn't have their number). They came over. Killed the scorpion. I offered cookies at a future date. Classy way to have them over for the first time. 

One of my first "new-home" purchases was a bug man. He just came a few days ago so the scorpion is... acceptable... Somewhat. Well, I'm not going to get mad at Troy, I'll just say. He's great. I mean, seriously, (ptooey, ptooey, ptooey), but if I didn't have Elliott, I'd probably have many sleepless nights... and a lot of bills from Animal Control over a single scorpion killing... do  they charge for that? Thanks goodness for neighbors! Meanwhile, thanks to my great memory, I can't get scorpions out of my head, and I am one of the few adults (I'm realizing) who still gets night terrors! I had to warn Brianne the first time we stayed in a hotel together. I often wake up screaming from one thing or another, many times: scorpions. Elliott taps me while in his sleep (he's mastered autopilot mode on this whole "comforting" thing. You have to if it happens enough times) and tells me to think of Pato, my affectionate little nickname for Barrett. So I do. And eventually, go back to sleep. Yeah, re-reading all of this has definitely convinced me of the need to seek out treatment options for phobias.

I'm Gonna Sit Right Down and Write...

I bought one of these a few days ago, in "Lemon Grass" to be exact. In our old Ward in Gilbert, we met for Sunday School in the seminary room. Colorful and creative posters and Church art adorned the walls. One poster read, "The dullest ink is better than the brightest memory." I have a very "bright" memory. It's more of a nightmare than a blessing. But, because I have a such a retentive memory, I like to be exact in every detail when recalling or retelling an event. I haven't journaled in years. A friend was telling me about her mother's pregnancy journal the other day and I felt a little twinge of regret over not having done one for either of my pregnancies much less the 27 months I've been a mother. I've forgotten so much and when something triggers a certain memory from Beckett's infancy, or Barrett's pregnancy, I wonder if that memory will ever be "triggered" again (photos do help, thankfully). I think these colors will motivate me into journaling enough to create a customized, colored rainbow of my "history in the making" if you will. It's never too late.  

Fourth of July

 We only get to visit Nana and Papa once or twice a year, so the camera takes permanent residence around my neck when we go. We have been settling in quite nicely into our new home and new area and absolutely love it. We, especially Elliott, have been busy painting away the bedrooms (it was shocking that nearly every bedroom remained unpainted for the 20+ years this house has been here; the walls absorbed all of our color when we first started)! When I'm not painting the trim, I take Beckett off to run errands at places like Trader Joe's and Arizona Bread Co. (have you tried their pumpkin chocolate chip bread?!) to keep him distracted from the "fun" he thinks painting is. We've also been happy to have family of all sorts come over for pool parties, and fortunately have a few more planned. I would have liked to say "before the end of summer" at the end of that sentence, but that doesn't look like it's happening anytime soon. 

My Doll/Chihuahua Puppy Is 6 Months

Barrett is 6 months today and becoming less like my little doll -puppy I like to tote and dote on (a la Paris Hilton). I found this out yesterday when I was at the Children's Museum of Phoenix and, carrying him in one arm, wisely decided to take Beckett into the art room with only ONE free hand. No matter, when it came time to wash Beckett off at the sink, I simply said out-loud to my littlest companion, "We'll just do the football position," and, standing up, proceeded to tuck him under my arm perpendicular to my body, hands and feet dangling out. A woman then kindly offered to hold Barrett for 30 seconds while I finished helping Beckett. Ohhhh welllll. I love little Barrett, I love little babies. I'll always want a tiny round baby to hold and eat. Toddlers... I will appreciate the time spent in that little age--but appreciate it as much when passed. Babies I will miss always when that stage permanently passes from my life.That is why I am grateful that when I was loading pictures on my computer today, I realized that my camera had just recently "zero'ed" out again. Meaning, for the SECOND time, it has hit 10,000 pictures and cycled back to 0. So for the times in which I feel especially sentimental, I suppose 20,000 pictures of my children will suffice... for now.