Whilst Elliott was away in Mexico, I wanted to protect myself from as many of the world's evils as possible. The very day he left, I hustled over to Home Depot and acquired several scorpion traps. I'll put the word out now so you can all prepare: If Elliott is ever gone for an extended period of time and I end up with a scorpion in my house... Expect a call. Day or night. I'll reward whoever the lucky exterminator is effusively.
This is 2 weeks later. Not only did I not catch any scorpions, but I killed a lizard, which probably would have eaten lots of scorpions. Alas, the nightmares continue multiple times a week and it still takes me 30 seconds from the time I step into my 5x3 powder room to do a quick eye scan of the walls before sitting down on the toilet (that's where they've been the most, see).